"I like your personality" thanks I stole it from Rachel Green

i actually didn't like rachel when i first watched friends. i thought she was spoiled and kind of annoying. and then, somehow, i grew up and realized “oh wait, we have a lot in common.”

first of all, her wardrobe. i want it. if i could steal one thing from rachel, it would probably be her entire closet.

and then there's the fashion thing. i can't deny that i have this little dream of working in fashion too someday (even though i know it’s probably not realistic for me), which makes her whole career arc feel weirdly personal.

there's also that episode where she tells phoebe, “honey, you have principles and i so admire that! i don't have any!” and honestly, i felt that. not because i actually don't have principles. i think i do. i just… sometimes have no idea what they are. i'm still figuring out what i actually believe in and what kind of person i want to be.

but let's be honest, i still get annoyed with her sometimes. like when she took monica’s chance to be with jean claude, or when she interfered with some of ross's relationships. and ngl, i was team ross back then (yes, i was that stupid but not anymore).

now i watch some of those episodes and think, “rachel, girl, what are you doing?”

rachel always seems like she doesn't know what she's doing either. but somehow, she keeps moving, keeps getting chances, and somehow gets away with it. and honestly? i aspire to have that kind of confidence. just enough to keep going even when i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing. the older i get, though, the more i appreciate her character arc.

she goes from this spoiled girl who runs away from her wedding to becoming a successful woman working in fashion in manhattan. and let's be real, you don't become that successful just by being pretty and lucky. she must have been smart, hardworking, and actually good at what she did.

i think that's the part of rachel i really admire now. she didn't have everything figured out from the beginning. she just kept trying things, failing, changing, and somehow finding her way.

maybe that's what i'm doing too. maybe i didn't actually steal her personality. maybe i just see a little bit of myself in her, the good parts, the annoying parts, and especially the part that has no idea what she's doing but still wants to believe everything will somehow work out.

and also, i wished she never got off that plane.