i feel like nicole (again!)

"spotted: the writer feeling deeply sad again. and apparently, nicole kidman was right all along about everything is deeply sad. lately, the writer has been noticing all the little things that make the world feel a little sadder than usual. sounds dramatic? perhaps. but can you really blame her?"

nicole kidman was right, everything is deeply sad

i thought i was being dramatic when i wrote that the first time, but lately, i keep finding little things that make me think about it again. the more i pay attention to the world around me, the harder it becomes not to notice all the sadness hiding in plain sight.

and maybe my missing cat has something to do with it.

my cat still hasn’t come home. ever since he went missing, i’ve found myself paying more attention to every cat i see. some are lucky enough to have a home and someone waiting for them. others have to survive as strays.

and we never really know their stories. maybe they were born on the streets. or maybe, once upon a time, they were someone’s baby—sleeping comfortably in a warm house, being fed every day, and loved by someone who called them by name.

now they have to search through rubbish just to find something to eat. they have nowhere safe to sleep, constantly exposed to hunger, illness, traffic, and all the dangers of the streets. thinking about that makes me want to love every cat i come across. sometimes i wish i could kiss every cat on the forehead and somehow let them know that they are loved.

but it doesn’t stop with cats.

the other day, i saw a large dove lying motionless by the side of the road. it looked like it had been hit by a vehicle. i couldn’t help wondering: what if it had babies waiting somewhere for their mother to come home?

even the horses pulling carriages around my city make me think differently now. when i was little, i only thought, i want to ride one. now i wonder: are they overworked? are they too hot? are they tired? do the noise and traffic frighten them? do they ever get to run freely?

and then there are the orangutans in kalimantan, losing their homes to forest fires. their habitats disappear, their families may be separated, and some struggle to breathe through the smoke.

the more i notice these things, the more i realize how vulnerable animals are in a world that isn’t always kind to them. and so much of their suffering happens quietly, all around us.

maybe i can’t save them all. maybe i can’t even know all their stories. all i can do is notice. but i really hope that one day, i’ll be able to help.

and this is only the sadness i see in the animals around me. i haven’t even gotten to the human part yet. there is so much more suffering beyond my little corner of the world.

for now, while i’m still waiting for my own cat to come home, i’ll keep looking a little more closely.

and i’ll keep hoping that somewhere out there, my little one is safe.

xoxo,

intunesque